I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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