He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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