I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
