we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
