Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
