Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
