Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
