So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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