I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
