Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
