Soap is not a condiment
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
