He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
