I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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