Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
