I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
