All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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