question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
