i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
