The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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