drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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