she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
