You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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