Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
