i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
