The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
