She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
