I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
