i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
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