talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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