So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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