dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Never underestimate the power of titties
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