There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
