We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
These tits shall not be calmed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
