When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
