u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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