Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
