She said her name was "party"
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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