So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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