do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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