Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
