He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
