Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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