dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
