i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
