is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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