u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
