took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
