dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
wow bdsm is so cute
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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