remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
