Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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