I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
